This is why oddballs and rebels and holy drunks from all over the Southwest flock to the Hotel Congress, where little has changed since John Dillinger used it as his hideout. Only in a land dominated by Republicans and Cormac McCarthy can a bar achieve true bar godhead. I believe that fundamentalists have the hottest sex, that peace is sweetest in a war zone, and that the greatest bars in the universe are found in the American Southwest. You're visiting in the summertime, but wish you could be here in the winter, if only for one dark day, when things are at their coldest and most miserable, and this odd, golden retreat must be just about the coziest and strangest spot on the planet. You tap your feet to Russian pop while leafing through old football mags. You drink homemade vodka under wilted photos of English explorers. And since Antarctica is a stateless continent, belonging to no country at all, you have as much right to claim one of its high-backed stools as anyone. Which means that today the bar is a palimpsest: a Ukrainian joint scrawled on top of a British pub. Twelve peoples are wintering in the First Ukrainian Antarctic Expedition." As the station's now mostly Cyrillic Web site explains: "In 1996 the British base Faraday has been transferred to Ukraine and renamed to Vernadsky. In aesthetics and atmosphere, the bar initially strove to duplicate a typical English tavern, but due to a real estate transaction that took place about a decade ago, it eventually became a rarer beast. Instead, in a move that got them temporarily reprimanded but eternally toasted, they used it to build the Antarctic Peninsula's only bar. The carpenters were supposed to fashion the fresh wood into a new pier to replace the rickety old one.
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But the station was getting rough around the edges. The station had been around since the 1950s, had done good scientific work, had been the first place in the world where men noticed the widening hole in the earth's ozone layer. You're having: A three-dollar shot of surprisingly smooth house-made vodkaĪ couple dozen years ago, carpenters working at England's Faraday atmospheric research station on Galindez Island in Antarctica received a shipment of wood. Galindez Island, Argentine Islands (Coordinates: 65º 15' S and 64º 16' W) (Departure points: Kodiak, Port Lions, Homer, and Seldovia 90) Juneau-brewed Alaskan Amber is a bargain, so it won't cost you much to buy a few rounds for your new friends: local fishermen and fanatical Scandinavian bird-watchers. Which is why you hit the Pitch & Roll, a well-appointed wedge of a room overseen by a guy wearing naval epaulets. While the scenery is spectacular, the weather is usually less so. The round-trip takes seven days on the Tustumena, the working ferry that carries people and cargo to and from villages along the peninsula and the Aleutian Islands.
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Homer to Un Alaska, The Gulf of Alaska, and the Bearing Sea, Alaska The Pitch & Roll on the ferry vessel Tustumena
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Three hours later, when Lou is busting your balls and you're laughing your quite comfortable ass off, you'll start to wonder if you might be sitting in the middle of the least-profitable liquor store on the planet. And then Frankie strolls out there and hands everyone custom-made Lou's Pub & Package ass cushions. But it'll start to make sense when the after-work crowd descends on the concrete patio tables outside. And the thing is, the first time you walk through that door and Lou barks at you to hurry up and order, the only thing you think about is leaving. When you put a bar inside a liquor store, it's like you're inviting customers to leave by reminding them they can just as easily buy a bottle of Jack and drink at home. *OK, so technically, Antarctica isn't part of America.